Agency Over Meaning
You Decide What It Means (Not Your Mind or Their Words)
Ever notice how your brain—or someone else—tries to press a SAVE button on your identity based on what just happened? Like, “They didn’t text back. Clearly I'm unlovable.” Or, “My boss rolled their eyes. Great, I must be incompetent.” Listen, I get it—our primitive brains thrive on creating stories, fast. But what if you broke the cycle and said, “Hold on, brain. That’s not the script I’m going to run.”?
🎯 The Power of Agency for Your Meaning
Agency is your God-given right to choose what lens you put on experiences. Instead of defaulting to “I’m worthless” when things go south, how about: “Hmm—something happened. Let me pause. What’s actually true?” You get to decide what conversation stays and what gets deleted. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to “guard your heart”—which includes the meanings we assign.
The Trap of Mind-Reading
We’re tempted to interpret behaviors as global judgments on identity. But:
👀 Someone rolls their eyes — maybe they’re hangry, not disapproving.
📵 They don’t reply — maybe they’re busy, not broadcasting abandonment.
🗣️ They speak sharply — maybe they’re stressed, not cold-hearted toward you.
Instead of mind-reading, take notes on actions. And ask: “What can I learn from this?”
Evaluate Behavior, Not Identity
Something that took me MANY years to figure out is - You are NOT your mistakes, someone else’s mood, or a snap reaction. You are beloved in Christ—confident, equipped, growing. Always growing. This distinction between the behavior and my own identity gave me my truth back.
I learned that when I make a misstep, I don’t have to default to “I’m a failure.” I have the power to decided: “I learned something.” Wow- refreshing right?
In Romans 8:1, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. No. Condemnation.
Anchoring in What God Says
Here’s your hard truth: God’s opinion of you is louder than anyone else’s—and you’re not quoting Him when people act off. You are:
Chosen – “You did not choose Me, but I chose you” (John 15:16).
Redefined – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Secure – “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish” (John 10:28).
You get to believe that truth over the noise. That’s agency.
A Quick 3‑Step Practice
Notice your story. What meaning did you assign?
Pause to question it. What else could be true?
Re-interpret through God’s lens. Try truthful, kind, useful meaning.
If you are a mom and you are headed to talk to your teen? Notice your brain say, “She never listens.” Instead: “Nothing’s set in stone—not her, not me—just a moment today.”
Why This Matters
You get freedom from obsession with the past.
You learn faster and grow stronger.
You root your identity in Christ, not popularity, performance, or perfection.
You don’t have to mind-read the world. You can mind-chose.
You don’t have to let your identity be shaped by actions, reactions, or assumptions. You can anchor it in what God says about you.
Let’s keep choosing truth.
– Stephanie
