HOLIDAY PEACE: HOW TO PROTECT YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM WHEN THE SEASON GETS LOUD
The holidays are marketed as “the most wonderful time of the year”—but for a lot of people, they’re the most dysregulated. Crowded schedules, family dynamics, financial strain, unresolved grief, unrealistic expectations, and constant noise can send the nervous system into overdrive before December even begins.
Here’s the truth: you don’t need more “holiday cheer.”
You need nervous system safety, emotional honesty, and boundaries that actually protect your peace.
1) PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM FIRST
Most people don’t stop to ask: “What state is my body in right now?”
Because if your body is in threat mode, everything else will feel harder—conversations, decisions, plans, even prayer.
Signs your nervous system is NOT safe:
you feel like you can’t keep up or get ahead
you’re irritable, snappy, or cynical
your chest is tight / jaw clenched / shallow breathing
you dread interactions
you feel numb, heavy, shut down, or disconnected
Your body is talking. Check in before you check out.
2) SELF-CARE IS NOT BUBBLES & CANDLELIGHT DURING DECEMBER
It’s:
pausing in the middle of the kitchen and taking 3 deep breaths
journaling 5 minutes to get the storm out of your head
stepping outside on the porch when the house is loud
choosing to go to bed instead of staying up wrapping gifts at midnight
Self-care is simply the small rhythms that you invite in and practice with intention.
3) FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS — DON’T FAKE IT or IGNORE THEM!
Grief still counts in December. Anger still counts in December. Loneliness still counts in December.
The season does not erase reality.
To process, ask:
What is the emotion actually about?
What is it trying to protect or reveal?
What do I need right now — comfort, space, support, truth, prayer, reassurance?
Unfelt emotions only intensify. They will last days, months, even years! FELT emotions release and pass quickly - usually in approximately 90 seconds! YES! 90 seconds!
4) SAY NO AND MEAN IT
You are not obligated to perform Christmas for other people.
It is okay to say:
“That doesn’t work for me this year.”
“I won’t be attending, but thank you.”
“I can’t host.”
“I’m leaving by 7.”
You are allowed to disappoint people in order to not abandon yourself.
5) BOUNDARIES WITH FAMILY ARE NOT UNCHRISTIAN
Jesus had boundaries — time away, limits on access, choosing when to answer and when to walk away.
Boundaries are not punishment — they’re protection.
Protection for your mind. Your faith. Your nervous system. Your future.
HOLIDAY NERVOUS SYSTEM SAFETY CHECKLIST
Before gathering, ask yourself:
BODY
✓ Have I eaten / hydrated / slept enough to handle humans?
✓ Do I know my exit strategy if I get overwhelmed?
✓ Can I step outside or to a bathroom for 2 minutes to breathe?
MIND
✓ What expectation do I need to let go of right now?
✓ What thought will I choose when someone triggers me?
(e.g. “That is about them, not me.”)
BOUNDARIES
✓ What is my “no” this year — and am I prepared to hold it?
✓ How long will I stay? When will I leave?
SOUL
✓ Have I talked to the Lord about this before I talk to people?
✓ What do I want to stand for — peace, honesty, restraint, love, self-control?
EMERGENCY RESET
✓ Box breathing (4-4-4-4)
✓ Grounding (Name 5 things you see)
✓ Cold water on wrists / back of neck
✓ Excuse yourself + pray: “Lord, calm my body. Anchor my heart.”
FINAL WORD
Holiday stress is not a character flaw — it’s a nervous system message.
You don’t fix December by tightening your grip — you regulate your body, regulate your emotions, and regulate your boundaries. DECIDE NOW - what rhythms can I put in place daily to bring in happy hormones rather than stress hormones?
That is how you protect your peace in a season that can take us out. This is true soul care.