Worry vs. Anxiety: How to Tell the Difference and Calm Your Body

Last month, my daughter who is 23 was coming home from LA for a visit.  It's about a 2 hour drive from LA to San Diego and she often leaves very late in order to miss all the commuter traffic. 

At first, it was classic worry—the mental “what ifs”:
What if she ran out of gas? What if she had car trouble and was stuck on the side of the road?
My heart rate was steady. I was still thinking clearly enough to check my phone and call.

But when the call went to voicemail again, everything shifted.

My chest tightened. Breathing grew shallow. Every creak in the house startled me. I couldn’t think logically about next steps.

That moment wasn’t worry anymore.
It was anxiety—full hypervigilance.

This is more than semantics. Knowing the difference changes how you care for yourself.  I also want to mention something I tell my clients often – this is a physiological response when your nervous system moves into a dysregulated state as in this example.    There was nothing wrong with me, it was simply my nervous system setting of an alarm trying to keep me alive.  

Worry Lives in the Mind

• Thought-based: Worry is a mental loop of “what if,” often about the future.
  

• Problem-solving gone sideways: It can help you plan, but left unchecked it becomes rumination.
  

• Responds to logic: Because it starts in the mind, worry can be redirected by journaling, challenging thoughts, or making a concrete plan.
  

Anxiety Starts in the Body

• Body-based alarm: Anxiety is your nervous system sounding an alert that you might be in danger.
  

• Physical first: Racing heart, tight chest, stomach churn, jumpy startle reflex—these often show up before you even think a single worried thought.
  

• Logic goes offline: Your system is focused on survival, not spreadsheets.  :)
  

How to Tell What’s Happening

1. Scan your body first.
   Notice breath, heart rate, muscle tension. If your body is on high alert before thoughts form, it’s likely anxiety.
   

2. Listen to your thoughts.
   Are you stuck in repetitive “what if” scenarios while your body stays mostly calm? That’s more like worry.
   

3. Name it out loud.
   Try saying, “This is worry,” or “This is anxiety.”
   Naming shifts the brain from reactivity to observation.
   

What to Do Next

• If it’s worry:

• Write down every “what if.”

• Identify what’s under your control and take one small action.

• Gently set aside what isn’t.
  
  

• If it’s anxiety:

• Start with the body. Slow your breathing: in for 4, out for 6.

• Do a 5-senses grounding check (name what you see, hear, feel, smell, taste).

• Once calmer, then look at your thoughts.
  
  

Why the Difference Matters

Blurring worry and anxiety together keeps us stuck.
When we know what we’re dealing with, we can meet the real need with clarity and compassion.

That night with my 23 year old daughter Ella, the moment I said to myself This is anxiety, not just worry, I began the breathing tools I teach inside my 1:1 coaching program and in HeartSpace. My system calmed, and I could think clearly again.

Your Next Step

This week, notice when you’re simply worried—and when your body has moved into hypervigilance. Naming it is the first step to freedom.