The Complex Emotion of Grief: What It Is, What It’s Saying, and How We Move Through It

Grief. It’s one of those words that carries so much weight, yet it’s often misunderstood. When we hear it, most of us immediately think of death and loss. But grief is not limited to funerals and goodbyes—it’s the complex emotion that arises any time something we value is taken away, whether that’s a person, a relationship, a dream, a season of life, or even the sense of who we thought we were.

Grief is, in essence, love with nowhere to go. It’s the echo of our deepest attachments, proof that what we had mattered to us.

What Is Grief Trying to Say?

Grief is not random. It’s a messenger. Beneath the heaviness, it is quietly asking us to pay attention to what was lost and why it mattered.  It’s a message that often whispers “it wasn’t supposed to be this way”.   

It says: “You loved deeply. You cared. You invested.”

It says: “Something has changed, and your life will not look the same as it once did.”

It says: “This pain is proof of the value that thing, person, or season held.”

So often, we try to outrun grief, to numb it, or to silence it. But grief doesn’t go away when ignored—it simply waits. It lingers in the nervous system, in the body, in the mind, waiting for us to turn toward it with compassion.   It can float over us like clouds….  Slow, steady, present.   It can also feel like a wave in the ocean, welling up, coming over you throughout your day unexpectedly… over and over again without warning.   

Processing Grief: How Do We Move Through?

The truth is, grief is not something we “get over.” It’s something we move through and allow.  Like waves, it rises and falls, sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming. Healing doesn’t come from resisting the waves but from learning how to ride them.

Here are some ways we can begin that process:

1. Name it and notice it without judgement.  

Grief demands acknowledgment. Put words to your loss, whether in prayer, journaling, or conversation with someone you trust. Saying, “This hurts. This mattered. I miss this,” validates your own humanity.

 2. Allow Space for All Emotions

Grief isn’t just sadness. It can be anger, guilt, numbness, even relief. Every emotion connected to grief is valid. Let yourself feel without judgment, remembering even Jesus wept (John 11:35).

3. Attend to the Body

Grief isn’t only an emotion—it’s also physical. The nervous system holds the weight of loss. Gentle movement, deep breathing, rest, and even tears are ways the body processes what the mind and heart cannot fully carry on their own.

4. Invite God Into It

Grief can make us feel abandoned, but Scripture reminds us: *“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”* (Psalm 34:18). Grief is not a place God avoids—it’s where He comes near.

5. Seek Safe Community

Grief is heavy to carry alone. Finding support in trusted friends, family, or a group setting provides both witness and companionship on the journey. Healing often begins when our grief is seen by another.

 Moving Forward, Not “Moving On”

To process grief well is not to erase the past but to weave it into a new story. We don’t move on from what we’ve lost; we move forward with it. The love remains, the memory remains, and—over time—the sharp edges of pain soften into something that can coexist with joy.

Grief is a teacher. It teaches us what matters. It humbles us to our dependence on God. It reminds us that life is fragile, fleeting, and profoundly sacred.

So, if you are grieving today, know this: you’re not broken for feeling it. You’re human. You’re alive. And in the tension of sorrow and love, God is at work, tenderly holding you and inviting you to trust that healing is possible.

👉 **Reflection Prompt:**

-What loss in your life still whispers to you?

-What is your grief trying to say?

-How might you invite God into that place today?