The Power of the Pause: Why Slowing Down Changes Everything

Let’s be honest—most of us are pros at pushing through.

Reacting fast. Talking over.

Trying to fix things, trying to control.  Can anyone else resonate?   This is truly my story.  

But what if the most powerful thing you could do in the heat of the moment... was to pause?

Keep reading….this was truly life changing for me.   

In a culture that celebrates speed and hustle, slowing down can feel counterintuitive. But here’s the truth:

Slowing down isn’t quitting.

Pausing isn’t passive.

It’s intentional. 

It’s a sacred invitation to disrupt the default, the coping mechanisms that you always relied on but are no longer working.  

When your nervous system is revved up and your old patterns are screaming, this is when it's important to pause, to stop and to breathe.  

The pause is where healing begins.   The pause is where we get to decide how we want to respond.   We get to decide to take a “time out”.  We get to decide to get to safety BEFORE we react in a way that we aren’t proud of.   

The Neuroscience of the Pause

From a brain-based perspective, when you’re activated—triggered, emotional, dysregulated—your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that makes wise, logical, values-based decisions) goes offline.

Your amygdala (the survival part of your brain) takes the wheel.

And guess what? It’s not great at relationship repair. It’s not interested in grace or clarity. It just wants to protect you, usually by reacting, defending, blaming, or withdrawing.

But when you pause, take a breath, and slow your roll, you create enough space for your higher brain to come back online.

You give yourself the ability to choose your next move rather than default to an old emotional reflex.

That pause is the gateway to peace.

Pause in Conflict: The Time-Out That Actually Works

Let’s talk real life.

You’re in a heated argument. Tensions are rising. Words are flying. Maybe tears, too. You want to win, or defend, or just be understood.

This is where the power of the pause can change everything.   

When you take a time-out—not as a punishment, but as a lifeline—you’re saying:

“I want to stay connected to you, but I need to regulate myself first.”

That pause gives you both the space to breathe, calm your nervous systems, and reset your hearts.

Then, and only then, can you return with humility and intention to repair what’s been hurt.

Jesus Modeled the Pause

Jesus often withdrew to quiet places.

He paused before speaking.

He knew when to step away, when to stay silent, when to wait on the Father.

That wasn't a weakness. That was divine wisdom.

We can model that same pause in our lives—rooted not in fear, but in faith. Trusting that in the silence, God is at work.

In the pause, the Holy Spirit has room to speak.

What Happens When You Practice the Pause

When you make pausing a practice—whether it’s in an argument, a stressful moment, or a decision—you’ll notice some radical shifts:

-You stop saying things you regret.

-You start identifying what you actually feel.

-You hear the whisper of your values, instead of the scream of your past.

-You invite God into the moment, instead of letting your trauma drive it.

And friend, this changes everything.

Take This With You:

Here’s a simple pattern interrupter to try this week:

1. Pause – Put your hand on your heart. Take a slow inhale. Exhale. Again.

2. Pray – “God, help me respond from a place of peace, not panic.”

3. Proceed – Only when you feel grounded enough to act with grace.

Healing isn’t about never getting triggered. It’s about learning to pause before reacting.

It’s the holy space between pain and peace.

And you get to choose it—again and again.