The Truth About Self-Awareness: It’s Not Selfish, It’s Sacred

Have you ever caught yourself thinking…

“I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Other people have it worse.”

“I need to be strong for everyone else.”

If so, you’re not alone—and you didn’t come up with that script on your own.

Most of us were never taught how to feel our emotions with curiosity.

We were taught to hide them. To silence them. To shove them down and smile anyway.

And somehow, along the way, we got the message that turning inward—asking What am I feeling? What do I need?—was selfish.

That tending to our pain was self-indulgent.

That focusing on others made us holy—but focusing on ourselves? Made us weak.

But let’s pause here and ask the real question:

🧠 What was modeled for you growing up when you were hurting?

• * Were you told to toughen up?

• * Were your feelings dismissed or minimized?

• * Were you met with solutions instead of presence?

Or maybe—no one really noticed your pain at all.

When you scraped your knee, cried in frustration, or felt overwhelmed with fear… what did the grownups around you do?

Did they pull you close and help you name what was going on inside?

Or did they unintentionally teach you to ignore it… deny it… and just “move on”?

Why This Matters

Here’s the truth:

What we learned growing up becomes what we live as adults—until we interrupt the pattern.

If you were never taught how to feel…

You likely learned to perform.

To fix, to help, to hustle… while secretly feeling numb or overwhelmed.

If emotions were unsafe in your home…

You likely carry a deep discomfort when others cry, rage, or open up around you.

And if you were praised for being the “easy” one, the “strong” one, the “peacemaker”…

You probably struggle to even know what you feel—let alone express it.

But here's what I’ve come to believe deeply as a Christian, a coach, and a woman doing this heart-work alongside you:

God is not asking you to bypass your pain. He’s inviting you to bring it to Him.

Jesus felt.

He wept.

He got angry.

He experienced loneliness, grief, betrayal, and deep sorrow.

Our Savior was not emotionally numb.

He was emotionally present.

And if He—perfect, holy, and divine—made room for emotion, why are we trying to shame ourselves out of it?

Self-Awareness Is a Spiritual Discipline

Becoming aware of your inner world—your thoughts, your triggers, your emotions—isn’t vanity.

It’s wisdom.

It’s healing.

It’s what allows you to live from a place of integrity instead of reactivity.

• You cannot love your neighbor well if you don’t know how to tend to your own heart.

• You cannot teach your kids emotional safety if you’re terrified of your own anger, fear, or sadness.

• You cannot fully show up for your calling while stuffing down the pain that’s trying to get your attention.

What If You Gave Yourself Permission to Feel?

What if, instead of judging your emotions—you got curious?

What if you began to ask:

* What am I actually feeling right now?

* What is this emotion trying to tell me?

* What do I need in this moment?

* And what does God want to reveal through this, not just after it?

Because when you get still enough to notice what’s happening inside…

You make space for healing, clarity, and connection.

You're Not Broken—You're Becoming

This journey isn’t about turning inward instead of loving others.

It’s about learning how to love others *from* a place of wholeness, not burnout.

When you feel safe in your own body and honest about what’s going on inside, you stop living in reaction.

You stop trying to prove your worth or pretend you’re fine.

You start showing up as the real you.

And that’s who the world—and your people—actually need.

💛 Journal Prompt:

• What was modeled for you growing up around emotions and pain?

• What did you learn to believe about feeling sadness, fear, or anger?

• Where might God be inviting you to rewrite that story?

You are allowed to feel.

You are allowed to explore.

You are allowed to heal.

Self-awareness isn’t selfish.

It’s sacred ground where God meets you.